


Jesus, You Goblin

by ProbablyRiley



Series: Max and Rachel Are Okay [2]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Chaos, F/F, Pure Chaos, enjoy, i dont feel bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 17:14:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22935016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProbablyRiley/pseuds/ProbablyRiley
Summary: Rachel may be perfect to everyone else, even to Max, but god everywhere she goes she is followed by chaos. (Based on random tik toks i found,)
Relationships: Rachel Amber/Maxine "Max" Caulfield
Series: Max and Rachel Are Okay [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962955
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	Jesus, You Goblin

Rachel Amber was perfect, or so everyone thought. The truth Max found out was that even though her girlfriend was perfect to her was a fucking menace. Drama queen didn’t even cover the absolute chaos the blonde actress could trail behind her.

For instance: 

Max was relaxing in the living room of their apartment when suddenly she heard a blood-curdling scream come from the kitchen. Jumping up she turned the corner to see Rachel with her head in the fridge as if nothing had happened. 

“You think your life is hard?” She began as she whipped out of the fridge with their jug of milk in her hand. Before the rest of her sentence could fall from her mouth the gallon slipped from er hand and fell behind the island and out of Max’s vision. 

“Oh my god,” Rachel gasped and she looked at her feet. “Oh god,” 

Max turned the corner and she observed the scene around her as a stunned Rachel was giggling maniacally as the milk poured all over the floor. The gallon had split once it hit the floor and all max could do was stare at her for a moment.

“Oh my god pick it up?!” She finally snapped to her senses and frantically motioned for the blonde to pick up the rapidly depleting milk supply. Rachel moved quickly to pick up the broken container and put it in the sink. 

“That was fun!” She chirped as she picked up the mop and got to cleaning. Max rewound three times only for the same outcome to occur regardless of what she did. It took them nearly an hour to get all the milk up and another completely to get the floor not to be sticky. 

Then there was:

“Rachel, what the hell are you doing on the roof?” Max asked at two pm on a Wednesday afternoon. Rachel was just sitting on top of their house looking down at the lawn where Max was stood. 

“You know...when your family be like, ‘you have so much to live for,’” She said it like a statement and Max knew it was a rhetorical question but she couldn’t help but cut in. 

“I swear to god Rach if you’re going to jump I’m not rewinding I’m just calling an ambulance.” she rolled her eyes when the blonde ultimately ignored her and turned away. She followed her line of sight and found their pet cat Captain Jack Purrow and pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“I mean..obviously, I-I have to make my cat into...Satan,” She muttered pointing a the fat tabby whose leg was over his head. 

“How much have you smoked?!” The time traveler asked incredulously. 

Let’s not forget:

Max was walking up from the parking lot to go to her first class of the day at Blackwell. The first thing that struck her as odd was the off-key recorder she heard. The second was the fact that it was playing ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Celine Dion. And the third was the fact that Kate was playing, and Warren was recording the staired up to the school not only with his phone but a drone above him. 

“I’M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD” She heard her girlfriend’s booming voice. Looking up slowly it was like watching a car crash in slow motion. 

Rachel was sitting in a cheap, green, Walmart kayak, an oar in one hand, a monster drink in the other. The only thing that could even be considered safety gear she was wearing was an ushanka on her head, and a pair of 2008 shutter shades. With a battle cry, the blonde pushed off the stairs and the kayak took off down them. 

The blonde’s momentum stopped in front of her and she looked up at her girlfriend happily. “Hi, baby!” 

“Jesus, you goblin,” She muttered looking down at the chaotic girl. All she got was a toothy grin and she leaned down and kissed her softly before heading to class. Even seeing the kayak flying down the stairs she was not prepared for the video she was tagged in on Instagram. The awful recorder was louder than before, having been dubbed over, and the awful shenanigans with the stupid green wannabe boat had gotten even worse. 

Rachel was sitting in the kayak still only this time it was placed on a swing at the local park and Warren was pushing her. A lazily edited cut later and Max felt all the color drain from her face as she saw Rachel push it off a slide and instead of it sliding down like anyone would normally expect this fucker’s nose gets stuck and the blonde slips down the child’s slide completely vertical to the ground before falling safely back to her seated position. She didn’t hesitate to pick up her phone. 

“I’m fine, but we are banned from Travis Hill Playground,” Was the first and only thing her girlfriend said before another shrill recorder note rang on the other end of the line and it went dead. 

And finally:

“Alexa play Nine to Five by Dolly Parton,” Max heard Rachel call from somewhere in the house as she walked through the door. 

“Oh god,” Max muttered to herself not sure what to expect as the speakers around their apartment blasted the 1980 country hit. 

Suddenly the mosy horrifying shape came out of the dark down the hall from the bedroom. It was a figure that judging by the clothes should be doing a handstand. It wiggled grotesquely down the hall into the kitchen laughing the entire time. There was an upside-down sweatshirt with no head, and sweat pants with the legs facing up towards the ceiling shoes topping them off.

It took a genuine minute for Max’s brain to catch up and see Rachel’s feet sticking out of the sleaves of the hoodie. 

“You’re an actual crackhead you know that?” Max laughed as she came up being the distorted figure and wrapped her arms around it. 

“Funny story it runs in my family,” The figure said, it’s voice muffled from the clothes. 

“That’s awful?!” Max squealed. “You can’t make jokes about your birth mom’s addiction that’s insensitive??”

“I can do as I please I didn’t know she existed until six years ago,” Rachel laughed as she pulled the sweats off her head revealing mused hair and a huge smile. 

“You’re awful,” Max chided and Rachel rolled her eyes. 

“No, no, I’m your* awful,” She correct before leaning in and kissing Max softly. She may be a gremlin but she is her gremlin, and she wouldn’t trade a single chaos-filled second for anything.

**Author's Note:**

> please tell me what you think!!!
> 
> the tik toks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzk2740a7x8


End file.
